They aint heavy
by windofmysoul
Summary: Hello avid TMNT fans, this is just a quick short story about the weight of an older brother, the release that music can bring, and the overall devotion and love Leo has for his three younger bros. Warning this story is extremely sappy and filled with lots of brotherly fluff. It is set after the season four finale, and is mainly Leo centric although it is all in Raph's P.O.V. Song l


**They ain't heavy**

Hello avid TMNT fans, this is just a quick short story about the weight of an older brother, the release that music can bring, and the overall devotion and love Leo has for his three younger bros. Warning this story is extremely sappy and filled with lots of brotherly fluff. It is set after the season four finale, and is mainly Leo centric although it is all in Raph's P.O.V. Song lyrics, flashbacks and Raph's thoughts are in italics.

I do not own TMNT they are the creation of Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird and Nickelodeon. Also I do not own any of the songs mentioned within this story. 'He Ain't heavy' is a song by the hollies and 'wish you were here' is by Pink Floyd.

Raph's P.O.V

Raph walked into the sewers that provided as the layer for the Mutant animals; his three brothers following him, talkin about something or other. Raph really didn't care with as hectic as life had been lately it had been a while since they had just gone over and hangout, Raph was looking forward to playing cards and talking with Slash, Mikey and Casey was looking forward to skateboarding with Mondo Gecko, Mikey of course was course couldn't wait to see Leatherhead. Donnie who was still careful around the crocodile would probably end up spending all his time bickering with Dr. Rockwell about physics and boring tech stuff. Behind him Raph heard his fearless leader lecturing their younger brothers about the importance of diligence and safety. Raph really wished his worrywort brother would lighten up, as oldest Leo had always been overbearing and overprotective but since Splinter had passed away Leo has seemed to age even more as he took on the burdens as father and sensei alongside that of oldest brother and leader. Raph felt a twinge of guilt knowing what a hard time he always gave Leo, but he didn't let his remorse show, leo just got under his skin. He understood his worry, but the dude needed to loosen up, they were just kids, hell they all were: even Leo, the dude needed to loosen up and act his own age sometimes. Raph was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of music coming from the layer. The brothers silent as they walked into the room, surprised by what they saw. On the far side of the vast room was a rise that stood as a stage, with amps and speakers sitting at the base. On the stage were their friends, or some of them anyhow. Mondo was in the back rocking out on the drums with his baseball cap backwards and his tongue hanging out of his mouth in concentration he was the splitting image of old was to his left holding a bass and singing into a mike and Mona lisa was sitting to the right playing a keyboard. Raph wanted to cover his ears, which he felt were on the verge of falling off or bleeding. But only because of Spikes singing it was like nails on glass! The rest of it wasn't half bad.

"Ahhhh" Mikey screamed covering his ears "my ears! Pleassseeee….stop!"

"Mikey!" Leo reprimanded elbowing his younger brother while silently cringing "manners"

"Yeah" yelled Mondo from the stage "don't judge if you won't play. We invited _you _guys over to be our all loving fans not our critics." said Mondo with a hurt face. Raph knew the invite had been about a band but still it was a bit much to take in.

"Sorry guys" Leo said as he headed over raising his hands up in surrender, "not another word" he shot a meaningful glance back at his brothers. Raph couldn't help but smile.

"I'm not taking that promise" Raph chided.

After hours of utter torture Raph thought he was losing his mind! His ears burned, his head ached and suddenly the room was too small. Mikey was moaning to his left his head lulling on Raph's shoulder as he shut his eyes in distress, Donnie to Raph's right sat with his head between his knees, hands also over his ears, he hadn't moved in several minutes. Raph turned his head to see how Leo was holding up and to his utter astonishment found Leo staring straight ahead, with a whishful smile on his face. Raph was aghast, this music was worse than he had thought! It had caused Leo to utterly lose his mind! Oh poor Leo thought Raph quietly, Of course this torture would be worse on him then the rest of them, above all of them Leo valued his peace and quiet, this mindless racket must be killing him!

"Leo" Raph whispered urgently, leaning over Donnie to shake his brother's shoulder. After a moment Leo seemed to pull himself out of a fog, before turning to stare blankly at Raph questionly

"Hu..sorry Raph did you say something?"

Raph frowned at his stokic brothers lack of composure, "come on buddy let's get out of here". With his foggy eyes downcast Leo nodded slowly before putting a hand on Donnie to help him up.

"Aw you guys heading already?" Mondo whined as the clatter drew to a close at their 'avid' fans movement.

"Yeah sorry, we should probably get back. But thanks so much for having us down here." Leo replayed

"Aww but we just got started, we still have another set.." Mondo whined "it's not as polished as what we just showed you, but still you guys are gonna love it" Mondo raised his drumsticks up in preparation to start again, when Slash intervened, grabbing the young Lizards hand before it could hit down. The giant turtle gently shook his head at the over excited drummer.

"That's enough for one day, my young friend" Leatherhead cool voice chimed in from the kitchen area. As Raph turned around he could see the giant crocodile rubbing his head. Raph went to go say goodbye to Monna hoping he could pull off some false enthusiasm about her performance.

After a few minutes of chit chat with Monna Lisa, he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. Turning around he saw Slash. "Hey-a-man" Raph fumbled rubbing the back of his head "ahh nice band you kept-a good beat or whatever."

Slash smiled "oh stop lying Raph I know we suck, it wouldn't be so bad if we had a lead singer who's voice didn't sound like nails in a blender."" Raph couldn't help but laugh, glad his friend understood and that he didn't have to hurt his feelings. "Yeah you guys did keep good beat and all but man Slash you need a singer"

"You want to join?"

"No Way!" Raph waived his hands across his face "you lived with us for years slash you know I can't sing a cent better than you" Slash smiled "your right, neither of us can really sing"

Right then Leo stepped up a moaning Mikey clinging to his side, "hey raph letts get going" Leo said his voice sounding more tired than it had all week "I think Mikey's about to keel over for some odd reason" turning to Slash Leo's expression took on a whole new tone "I just wanted to say thanks, I know it's really hard to get up there and do that: let your whole soul just pour out, in song"

Slash seamed as taken aback by Leo as I was."Hey I'm gonna find Donnie and wait by the door kay Leo" I said grabbing Mikey and not waiting for a response.

-TMNT-

"Ugg my head" cried Donny. Mikey had moaned and grounded after they had gotten back, putting a Ice pack on his head donnie had retired to his room. Raph too tired to spar or read his magazine found himself just zonking out on the couch. When he woke the next morning the layer was quiet.

"Finally up sleepy head" Donnie mumbled next to him, sitting on the floor fiddling with the toaster. "There's some ibuprofen on the table with your breakfast, me and Mikey already ate,"

Raph grunted a thanks and headed into the kitchen. "I'm surprised you guys let me sleep in so late" Raph smiled "I thought Fearless would have woken me up hours ago for training"

Donnie frowned "I think he's still sleeping" Raph almost spit out his orange juice, Leo never slept in never! Mr. perfect always kept his schedule. Raph frowned as he remembered how distant Leo had been yesterday after they had gotten home.

"I'm gonna get m' up" Mikey chirped

"Oh let him sleep" Donnie signed "honestly I can't remember the last time Leo had a full night sleep or a full meal for the matter"

_Yeah he's always so busy chasing after, to keep care of himself' _ Raph thought the knowledge burning in his stomach.

Mikey paying no mind bounded into Leo's room cheering "wakey wakey sleepy head" Mikey emerged a minute later, his cheerful demeanor wiped clean as he stared blankly back at them his face white.

"What?" Raph joked "Leo throw you out for intruding on his beautify sleep?"

"No" mikey blumberg "Leo's gone"

"What!" Donnie was on his feat instantly "what do you mean gone?"

"He's not in his bed, there's just this note" Mikey bounded down and handed it to his two older brothers.

_Guys_

_You can have the day off today, you've been training really hard and you deserve it. I'm heading out, I have my phone and I'll be back for dinner. _

_Don't go above ground! For any reason and I MEAN it Raph._

_-Leo _

Raph just stared at the note starstruck.

He turned off his tracker, Donnie's voice sounded from the lab.

Raph let himself sink into the couch as his two younger brothers bickered, and started flipping through the channels. "What are you doing Raph?" Donnie said in an exasperated tone.

"Just following orders, Leo said to take the day off"

"but.."Mikey started

"Leo said not to go above ground, and I'm just gonna have ta trust that he ain't gonna do anything he told us not to do" Raph let out a sigh "Leo ain't a bonehead, I mean come on he's the responsible one out of the four of us" Raph shrugged "he's probably just blowing off steam, you know training or something the guys been so wound up lately" his brothers softened at this.

"Your right Raph" Donnie sighed, and with that the three youngsters snuggled up and had a day all to themselves free of training.

-TMNT-

Something had changed in the last few weeks, it wasn't too noticeable at first, but Raph caught it. Leo was in a better mood, it was like a weight had been lifted from his brother. He seemed more relaxed and easy going. Although Raph out of everyone was the most grateful for the change he observed that it seemed to come with a price, Leo was more worn down than usual. The work-a-holic leader seemed to be worn more thin. After close observation, Raph realized that Leo was sneaking out every night and sneaking back in-in the morning before the rest of them woke up for training. Raph was more than just concerned about the behavior and was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Could you remind me why we're doing this again Raph" whined Mikey. Raph had talked to Donnie yesterday, and to his relief he hadn't been the only one concerned about Leo's stamina and late night disappearances. The two of them had intended to track down Leo via phone, and talk to him. But they had to re-adjust their plan, when they had woken Mikey. Who demanded they explain what they were doing, and then had insisted on coming along.

"I told you Mikey,were simply gonna ask Leo to explain himself"

"I get that by why can't we wait till morning" Raph rolled his eyes at his whinny brother.

"Because mikey" Donnie interjected "Leo will just blow it off you know how he is. He's probably just getting in extra training, but with how hard he's already pushing himself, we have to intervene."

Raph stopped suddenly as he realized the direction they had been heading in, before picking up his pace more confident about the direction he was heading in.

"This is the way to the mutant animals' place" he said aloud

"Maybe Leo's been getting in some extra training with them?" Mikey said as he fell in beside his brothers as the ran down the tunnels.

"Yeah, but why? It's not like he isn't training us twenty-four seven, or out on patrols,or fighting crime, why would he need more training?" Donnie sarcastically spit the retort.

The brothers slowed as they heard music coming from the layer as they reached the front door. Mikey reflectively covered his ears, Donnie flinched away, they had purposely been avoiding visiting the Mutant animals specifically because of their music.

Raph likewise prepared himself as he etched closer to the door, but Raph found himself loosening up as the music grew louder. Was it just him or did it sound, better? A shared look with his brothers confirmed his thoughts. "Hey I don't recognize that guitar" Donnie mumbled as rich musical harmony flowed from the open doorway. Raph had heard this song last visit, but the guitar seemed to talk now, it's sound danced it sang with emotion. And the sound left Raph absolutely floored, there is no way they could have gotten that good, he heard Mondo's drums and Slash on the bass guitar; so he knew the change wasn't them. The bass provided the undertone smooth ruff and firm, but this new sound added a layer Raph couldn't have imagined. Like the wind above the river it danced, the acoustics jumped in and out of the song. Bound by curiosity their quest momentarily forgotten the three brothers suck in and took a seat by the back wall in full view of the stage and where awestruck by what they saw. Their in the middle of the stage between Slash and Monna stood Leo! His eyes were closed in concentration as his body swayed from side to side, the course closed exterior he always carried seemed to wash away with the music and what was left was raw, rare and filled with passion. He held an acoustic guitar and the three brother's watched in wonder as he made it sing, his face changing with every note as the music seemed to flow from inside him.

"Leo?" Donnie whispered from beside him, his voice conveying the same shock Raph felt.

Raph was so awestruck he couldn't find the words to even speak, and before he could even catch his breath the melody evened out and Leo started to sing. His voice cut through Raph's heart, he didn't know Leo could sing, shoot he didn't even know Leo could play.

_So, so you think you can tell_

_Heaven from hell_

_Blue skies from pain_

_Can you tell a green field_

_From a cold steel rail?_

_A smile from a veil?_

_Do you think you can tell?_

Raph let his mouth drop open as Leo's voice, Leo's perfect voice carried over the room, it was filled with such sorrow, such pain that it hurt Raph to his core.

_Did they get you to trade_

_Your heroes for ghosts?_

_Hot ashes for trees?_

_Hot air for a cool breeze?_

_Cold comfort for change?_

_Did you exchange_

_A walk on part in the war_

_For a lead role in a cage?_

Somehow Leo had transformed the Mutant animals into a band, like a team they communicated, they picked up on slack, they covered weak points in each other's work and played with each other instead of against. Raph couldn't take his eyes off of his big brother, who stood up their pouring out his heart. For the first time Raph felt like he was seeing Leo with his walls down. Leo as just Leo, not just as their big brother, as the 'fearless leader', the perfectionist, but just Leo, all of him.

_How I wish, how I wish you were here_

_We're just two lost souls_

_Swimming in a fish bowl_

_Year after year_

_Running over the same old ground_

_And how we found_

_The same old fears_

_Wish you were here_

With that Leo's guitar sang, sending chills down Raph's the song came to a close it was too soon. Although part of Raph wanted to bound up and demand an explanation, yell at his brother for keeping this from him; part of him also just wanted to sit and listen.

"Woo that was good" yelled Mondo,

"Yeah" Leo smiled down at his shoes suddenly bashful "we've really come a long way..thanks for letting me play with you guys"

"Are you kidding me?" Mondo asked his eyes and smile beaming "dude your awesome! You totally rock! You like completed our band man, I hate to rag, but we kinda sucked before you"

"No you didn't" Leo argued

Slash put his hand on Leo's shoulder with a chuckle "don't argue with us Leo, you totally pulled this band together, we needed direction."

"Don't be modest young one" Leatherhead smiled from the foot of the stage "you have as much talent as you have soul"

Raph could see Leo blush from here, clearly uncomfortable with the attention. "You guys are really amazing, for letting me play with you" leo rubbed his foot back and forth on the ground for a moment before facing the mutant animals again with is famous leader smile. "So we gonna keep playing or what?" he said with a cocky smile. Mondo let out a woop and Slash just smiled before running his hand over his guitar again.

"What should we play?" asked Leo obviously excited, "I only have a few hours before I need to get back for training"

Slash frowned "you sure you ain't pushing yourself to hard Leonardo?" Leo shook his head "I love doing this, I've never played a guitar before that wasn't broken or shattered or water logged, it makes a world of a difference."

Slash gave Leo a look, that stated he wanted a direct answer "I know my limits Slash" Leo answered coolly.

"Alright" Mondo piped up, "since Leo is the one who is staying up like twenty-four hours a day just so he can play with us so we don't suck I think he should pick the next one" Mondo suddenly bounded off the stage toward the kitchen "but hey dude could you make it one without drums I'm getting a snack"

"Sure mondo" leo chuckled and then turned to the rest of the band to give instructions.

"Wow can you believe this?!" Donnie whispered as he scooted closer.

"Yeah, Leo can sing and he's GOOD!" Mikey's eyes widened with a mixture of shock, joy and pride.

Raph shook his head slowly as he tried to wrap his head around it all.

"Where did he learn to play' Donnie pondered half to himself

"I don't know dude, Leo mentioned something about broken guitars, he must have found one in the sewer and taught himself." Mikey shrugged, still staring down at their eldest brother in awe.

"But why didn't he tell us?" Raph asked baffled, unable to hide his anger.

Donnie shook his head "I don't know, all these years I thought Leo just didn't have a hobby, I mean we all had one" Raph nodded, he had his magazines and punching bag, Donnie his inventions, Mikey his pranks and video games, but all Leo ever did was train.. "I asked about it once" Donny continued

"What'd he say" Mikey squeaked

"He said, a leader didn't have time for such things" Donnie frowned. Raph felt his blood start to boil.._didn't have time! Leo made time to train 24-7! To lead patrol, fight crime, they all had hobbies he could have one too, it wouldn't have been the end of the world! He was always pushing himself harder than the rest of them. _He was the one who was always picking up the slack of the team, making sure they were well rested, fead and overall taken care of. _Yet when did he make time for himself? Did he really think he needed to sacrifice this for us, after all he's already sacrificed?_

"Why?" Mikey asked a frown forming on his usually sunny face.

Donnie let out a long sigh "I think it was to keep us safe, you know Leo always being the big brother"

Raph was about to let out a retort when the music started again, this time it started it out with a harmonica. The sound was sweet and sad. Raph recognized this sound, Leo had carried it everywhere when they were younger, Raph had forgotten about it. Turning from the conversation the three brothers pulled together, to listen. Mikey scooted around front to lean against Raph's chest, Raph let his arms draped around his little brother's shoulders as the shoothing melody lulled him, his anger vanishing instantly. Donnie let his head leaning against Raph's shoulder whispering in his ear "how many instruments does Leo play?'

Raph chuckled at this wishing he knew the answer. The music was much softer than the last song but the notes rang out just as strong. Raph watched as their brother opened up before them, every fiber of his being exposed as he started to sing again.

The road is long

_With many a winding turn_

_That leads us to who knows where_

_Who knows where_

_But I'm strong_

_Strong enough to carry him_

_He ain't heavy, he's my brother_

With his eyes closed Leo seemed to take the world on his shoulders with every word. His voice soft like the wind but strong like fire it carried out the words, with such intent such delicacy. Raph felt his heart pound at the last lyric, _But I'm strong, Strong enough to carry him, He ain't heavy, he's my brother. This sounded like Leo! _

_So on we go_

_His welfare is of my concern_

_No burden is he to bear_

_We'll get there_

Raph felt Mikey shift under his arms; Raph shared an all-knowing glace with his two brother's as Leo's voice poured out across the room;absolutely oblivious of their presence.

_For I know_

_He would not encumber me_

_He ain't heavy, he's my brother_

Raph felt himself choke up as he remembered all the times Leo had pulled him out of a fight carrying him to safety, Raph felt tears threatening to spill over as a memory was pulled forward by the lyrics.

_A flash of a blade across his plaston, the sound of his name in his ear. He had woken up to see Leo's face staring down at him, telling him to hold on that he was going to be alright. His brother was hurt and bleeding from head to toe, but he was racing down the tunnels with Raph in his arms, toward home. _

Raph felt twin tears crawl down his face at the memory, hearing a sniffle, Raph looked over to see that Donnie and Mikey were also tearing up, probably with memories of their own. They had always been there for each other; but Leo most of all. Their big brother, always carried their burdens alongside his own, blaming himself if ever anything went wrong.

_If I'm laden at all_

_I'm laden with sadness_

_That everyone's heart_

_Isn't filled with the gladness_

_Of love for one another_

Raph couldn't pull his eyes away from his big brother, who was pouring his heart out in song. Suddenly so jovial as if the burden he had just mentioned really wasn't one to rival atlas'. It spoke so loudly of the loyalty, devotion, and love Leo carried for each of his younger brothers.

_It's a long, long road_

_From which there is no return_

_While we're on the way to there_

_Why not share_

"Leo" whispered Mikey beside him, the voice coming out in a half siffle

_And the load_

_Doesn't weigh me down at all_

_He ain't heavy he's my brother_

Raph couldn't fight it any longer the floodgates had opened and he could tell from the sniffles beside him that Mikey and Donnie had also relented to the tears.

Leo seemed to gather up his strength, putting all he had within him into the final lines

_They're my brothers_

_They ain't heavy, their my brothers, they ain't heavy._

_Please let me know what you think. I didn't know how to end this sweet sappy plot and I kinda liked having the last words be the weight of the lyrics "they ain't heavy, their my brothers" (also please don't sue me the actual lyrics are only about one brother not multiple but I changed the last line for dramatic effect. I hope the exercise of my creative license did not offend. If you have never heard of either of these two songs I would highly recommend a listen) I am kind of interested in what Leo's brothers would have to say to him or their reactions, or his reactions. I may add a second chapter later but for now it will remain a one shot. Please Review. _


End file.
